While you were sleeping...

I awaken to a feeling of melancholy. Realization that I'm still where I was last night. I was hoping that by some chance I'd wake up in a different land with different people, feeling different emotions or even better, not feeling any emotion. Just to be in a state of mind of holiness and determination. Determined to fill my voids and molded, damp areas of my heart with the Glory of a King. 

My mind plays a song over and over again. 

it sings...

" If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,

I can only conclude that I was not made for here"

And those words echo so true in my heart. I am convinced that I am not from here. Because my desires are not satisfied by things that this world can offer me. So how can I not think that perhaps my desires are set to a heavenly standard? I feel my spirit screaming for a deep, profound love; for a life that is bursting at the seems with adventure and love. 

"I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me"

Out lets my spirit a sigh that only leaves traces of hungry and a longing so deep. And I know that I am not the only one that calls for this Hope. I hear it in the birds. For whom do they sing? I hear it in the rain when it slams against the Earth. For whom does it refresh? I see it in lovers that stand in the darkness. For what desire of their heart are they trying to satisfy? 

Hope. A King of Glory. A King of Love. Clothed in purity. I wait for Him to come for me. But as I wait, I pray to help clear the dust from the windows of the souls that sigh and groan for more. A sigh of desperation. To point them in a direction of the path less traveled. A path full of surprises and adventures. But though this path can be rocky, it guaranteed to have purpose and never a solitary path. 

"And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you"

My life is not meant to be spend staring at imaginary photographs of the faces  of people my flesh thinks I need. My life was not meant to wake up and wish I woke up somewhere else. My life was not made to walk on without a hand to hold. 

Though I do not love like the Prince; my desire is to learn to love like the Prince. Though I do not live the life I dream of; I am chiseling away at the stone. The stone that tries to form itself around my heart. And my pretty words wont get me anywhere so I work, fight, push through. 

There must be more. and I wont stop until it's found. 

The quotes are from a song by Brooke Fraser. The song is called "C.S. Lewis Song"

I hope this blog is a blessing to your heart. 

Get up and get out.