I desire...

It's been awhile.
There's been up's. There's been down's. I have no doubt it will continue that way but one thing is constant and that is my desire for God and a deep relationship with Him. So I'd like to share something I wrote back in September. It has no title but here it is...

I desire an everlasting romance.
Pages numbered to the end of time as I know it
And beyond.
To love with passion
To be consumed with admiration for You
For the word of Your mouth
to be written on my heart
with the most delicate of penmanship
To be dressed in Your stories
countless stories of heroes and love
I long for my each and every thought
to be held captive to You
Grace; like a silk garment flowing
in the wind, grasping my being,
hugging every edge of me, even the sharp
Surrendering my mind to You
every moment of those days.
Shaping my actions to be poems
written with the grandest themes of love.
To lay at Your feet and seek favor with You.
Coming to You with my heart's knees to the ground
Hands raised high
to offer up my sacrifice.
My praises transform into jewels
that swiftly journey to Your head
crowning You as King of my heart
Forever More.
Just to know that I have brought
a smile to the gleaming pearls.
Only You are worthy of all Glory.
I've come to hold the gaze of Your eyes.
Hold Mine. Hold Me.
I don't want to even leave Your presence
Even when I do, I really don't.

While you were sleeping...

I awaken to a feeling of melancholy. Realization that I'm still where I was last night. I was hoping that by some chance I'd wake up in a different land with different people, feeling different emotions or even better, not feeling any emotion. Just to be in a state of mind of holiness and determination. Determined to fill my voids and molded, damp areas of my heart with the Glory of a King. 

My mind plays a song over and over again. 

it sings...

" If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,

I can only conclude that I was not made for here"

And those words echo so true in my heart. I am convinced that I am not from here. Because my desires are not satisfied by things that this world can offer me. So how can I not think that perhaps my desires are set to a heavenly standard? I feel my spirit screaming for a deep, profound love; for a life that is bursting at the seems with adventure and love. 

"I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me"

Out lets my spirit a sigh that only leaves traces of hungry and a longing so deep. And I know that I am not the only one that calls for this Hope. I hear it in the birds. For whom do they sing? I hear it in the rain when it slams against the Earth. For whom does it refresh? I see it in lovers that stand in the darkness. For what desire of their heart are they trying to satisfy? 

Hope. A King of Glory. A King of Love. Clothed in purity. I wait for Him to come for me. But as I wait, I pray to help clear the dust from the windows of the souls that sigh and groan for more. A sigh of desperation. To point them in a direction of the path less traveled. A path full of surprises and adventures. But though this path can be rocky, it guaranteed to have purpose and never a solitary path. 

"And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you"

My life is not meant to be spend staring at imaginary photographs of the faces  of people my flesh thinks I need. My life was not meant to wake up and wish I woke up somewhere else. My life was not made to walk on without a hand to hold. 

Though I do not love like the Prince; my desire is to learn to love like the Prince. Though I do not live the life I dream of; I am chiseling away at the stone. The stone that tries to form itself around my heart. And my pretty words wont get me anywhere so I work, fight, push through. 

There must be more. and I wont stop until it's found. 

The quotes are from a song by Brooke Fraser. The song is called "C.S. Lewis Song"

I hope this blog is a blessing to your heart. 

Get up and get out.

Dream. Hope. Live it.

Guys! How are you? ...really...stop and think about it. How do you feel?
I hope well but if not, I hope you learn something from that hardship.

Well, it's the time again; the time to blog.

I just wanna share something I wrote yesterday. The writing is inspired by the teaching from Sunday at Connection (the awesome young adults' service at the church I'm from) as well as the small group I attend on Tuesdays. We were talking about our dreams and goals and I got to thinking. I have so many dreams. So I wanted to write a sentnce about each dream. With that, I made something of a poem.

I have dreams.
Dreams that shadow me.
Dreams that reflect my heart.
I see limbs smoothly calling a people to their knees.
I hear laughter from the youth in a torchered time.
I witness the smiles of women rescued from the darkness of society's abuse.
I feel the warmth of a Presence filling the hearts of worshipers
I sense a change in a life starving for more.
I cry for You to be more evident in me.
I long to kill my flesh so that You may be born in me.


Something short.


See ya, guys

I hope your heart is blessed today!

Why so Emo?

Heylo, Ladies and Gents!

I hope you are well. And I definitely hope God has been prancing around in your life in awesome ways. ;)
I haven't blogged in a while so I decided I would like to this evening. I was journaling this evening and I came across a little something I wrote and thought I would like to post it.

In my left hand I hold the combination that unlocks the safe
where I hide my shame and regret.
The shame that dries the life out of me at night,
when the world can't see me
through my glass window
The regret that haunts me during the day
like a shadow who reminds me of the dirt I can be.
Why do I continue asking questions
seeking the solutions to all the equations
but never putting the circle in the round peg.
while this dispair-go-round plays a sad tune
of my poor excuse of a life.
Like a gluten, I continue to feed myself
with negativity until my belly is full of self indulgence
that I throw up pride.
A pride so bitter
it fills my eyes with tears of sorrow.
blinding me from seeing the hope on the other side of my window
Where I stand with my dirty hands against the glass
watching my peaceful side enjoy her cake.
But I can see the knife on the floor
covered in my blood.
I killed what could be me.
I let my selfishness over take me.
It consumed me and sucked out all my hope; a leech.
I fought with the incorrect equipment.
Not relying on His Holy Word.
The only Words that answer to my darkest doubts.
The only Words that address my issues with a sincere call.
I was too busy swallowing dark lies,
that I ignored my craving for pure milk.
A milk that soothes the mind, heart, and soul

So emo... oh boy.

Dancing With My Thoughts...

Dudes...Dudettes....

I wanted to blog about something so I decided to blog about last night's Worship Band practice, the experience. I am so blessed to be part of that group. God reaalllly showed up last  night. That must seem weird to read. " How does God show up?" one may ask. Well, God's presence is so obvious sometimes. Think  of it as a heat. There's a radiator in the room and then heat just starts oozing out of it. and when you walk into that room, you feel the heat. It can't be ignored. That's what the presence of God feels like to me. We are the radiator and God's Holy Spirit is the heat. When God lives in us (because we asked Him to, we said to him, You first- me last) He can just come out of us and fill a place. It's something supernatural. And when you truly lay down your desires and just want to thank Him and kneel before Him like one would do before a King, He really moves in you and around you. His love is intoxicating (in a awesome way). Even though there isn't literally a smell in the room, He's like a fragrance. Imagine your favorite smell, a smell that calms you...that's what God is to me. 

Well, that's what God was doing last night with us. It is so awesome to see your friends show their love for God with the talents that were given to them. And I pray that we never lose that. And when a group does that act of love together it really brings them closer... giving us unity. Reminds us that we are there for God and His love and to want more of Him on this Earth. 

I don't have enough words. But there is a song that describes how I feel about God. And if  you guys are ever interested in listening to it, its by Rick Pino, and the song is "Your Love is Like"

Well, I'd love to go on about what God is like to me but I have class in a few. I just wanted to write a bit about Him. It brings me back in focus. I was getting carried away with depressing thoughts. Losing my grip on what God tells me about me and letting lies of never being good enough enter in. but NO!!! 

It's a constant fight. It's a good race. And I'll continue fighting the good fight. 

My final thought is that I hope you know God in your own intimate way. I pray you want that and that when you do, your eyes are open to see Him move, like the heat from the radiator. ;)

Shalom!

Ashley "Random" Pinto

These are 25 random things about me.


1. Í've trying to learn how to play guitar for almost two years now.
2. My shoes MUST match my outfit.
3. My friend Angie and I have something of a demo. We call ourselves "Oh! Elsa"
4. I want to be your kids' crazy high school english teacher.
5. Never tried any drugs.
6. I hate cigarette smoke.
7. I love the smell of gasoline.
8. I don't know the times table as much as I should.... I hate math.
9. I love family time. Even if it's boring.
10. My favorite show is LOST!
11. I love my church and all the people that are part of it. They make me smile.Since day one, I knew I found a place where I could be me and be loved just the way I am.
12. I love the Subject-o-matique feature on yahoo mail.
13. I dont want to have a routine life. "
14. I should be doing homework right now.
15. I want an iphone but I'll survive.
16. I love my siblings' doggie. Freckels =]
17.I love making random home videos.
18. I love hearing stories about God's power and how He's plans for us play out.
19. I am firm believer that you can't say that Chick Flicks suck. Even if they are low budget, it's a Chick Flick!!! Most likely will make me cry.
20. I like a good cry. Happy ones are fun! haha
21. I love dictionary.com
22. The Breakfast Club is one of my favorite movies.
23. I love Jane Austen novels
24. I sometimes wish I could have lived in the 19th century.
25. I will pray for you if you want...seriously...and im not being sarcastic

I'm From the Heart

The following is a poem I wrote for an assignment. It was for a class in this semester. We had to write a poem about what we are from. I had written one like this in high school. So I incorporated things from my high school version into my new and updated version. Felt like sharing this with all the ciber peeps, whoever you are!


I’m From the Heart.

I am from where I sit up straight and “não se canta á mesa”
From a tiny bedroom that I love to hate and hate to love
I am from where the girls with the pretty folklore dresses dance to an accordion and screaming lady
I am from where Jesus is in our heart and on our walls
I am from a place where vegetarians don’t exist, where codfish can be cooked 101 different ways
I am from summers spent at the homeland
I am from where you make wine in your own backyard
I am from a place where the air seems pure, a place of cold beaches

I am from Sunday’s best, afternoon family lunch, and hardy meals.
I am from sneaking into Sandy’s room, playing with make-up, and listening to secrets.
I am from trying to make my siblings laugh.
From study hard and go to college.
I am from Dad and Mom coming to a whole new world for us.
From the Lord is my Shepard, John 3:16, and Romans 12: 2
I’m from Mom’s beautiful gold necklace,
From baby food when no longer a baby, from chocolate milk before bed.
I’m from a rich culture, rows of vineyards, and home away from home.
I am from a place where riches don’t matter when all you need is love
I am from my family.