Why so Emo?

Heylo, Ladies and Gents!

I hope you are well. And I definitely hope God has been prancing around in your life in awesome ways. ;)
I haven't blogged in a while so I decided I would like to this evening. I was journaling this evening and I came across a little something I wrote and thought I would like to post it.

In my left hand I hold the combination that unlocks the safe
where I hide my shame and regret.
The shame that dries the life out of me at night,
when the world can't see me
through my glass window
The regret that haunts me during the day
like a shadow who reminds me of the dirt I can be.
Why do I continue asking questions
seeking the solutions to all the equations
but never putting the circle in the round peg.
while this dispair-go-round plays a sad tune
of my poor excuse of a life.
Like a gluten, I continue to feed myself
with negativity until my belly is full of self indulgence
that I throw up pride.
A pride so bitter
it fills my eyes with tears of sorrow.
blinding me from seeing the hope on the other side of my window
Where I stand with my dirty hands against the glass
watching my peaceful side enjoy her cake.
But I can see the knife on the floor
covered in my blood.
I killed what could be me.
I let my selfishness over take me.
It consumed me and sucked out all my hope; a leech.
I fought with the incorrect equipment.
Not relying on His Holy Word.
The only Words that answer to my darkest doubts.
The only Words that address my issues with a sincere call.
I was too busy swallowing dark lies,
that I ignored my craving for pure milk.
A milk that soothes the mind, heart, and soul

So emo... oh boy.