My thoughts flew off on a tangent....

By Goll, George.

I was writing a paper than I thought about God.

I thought about how His pressence seems to press on my heart. I love to picture pictures that associate with my thoughts in some way. When I imagine God's oh so authentic pressence, I think of the garbage truck I would watch from my window when I was younger. I imagine my heart to be the rubbish and God to be the strong hand. I do understand that this analogy might be a bit gloomy. My point is not to paint a harsh picture of my relationship with God but more to paint the picture of the force of His pressence in my heart. Back to the garbage truck; sometimes I throw my heart into God's hands because that's what I need to do to really just get off my high horse. I need to throw myself to the ground before I ride into dangerous lands. And when I do find my self In God's hands, I feel His pressence close in on me. Those are the moments I love. Knowing He's there and I am complete. Here is where I can truly curl up under his arm with my eyes tired from all the weeping and whaling I was doing...the calm after the storm. Here is where I remember my fullness is in Him. Here is where I know that nothing else could give me this assurance. No person. Neither a man nor a woman. Neither a friend nor foe. Neither a sibling nor a parent. Neither an article of clothing nor a piece of technology. Neither a milkshake nor a brownie. Nor a song or a movie or a book. Neither a husband, or a boyfriend, or a best friend. Neither a diploma nor a job. Neither a talent, nor a gift, or a calling. Neither an accomplishment nor a dream. Neither my web page nor how many compliments I get. Neither my wisdom nor my humility nor my pride. None of these things will make me whole. None of these things could ever love me with the passion He loves me with. I sadden myself so many times because I lose myself to those latter thoughts. I get so caught up with my ships and walls. sometimes it takes me getting to the end of the rope hanging off the cliff to realize that He was standing next to me the whole time trying to tell me things no one in this world could tell me while I was feeding myself with empty promises. How can one know life but eat dirt?
I wrote in my journal today and I asked God a question, like I always do. I asked Him, "How do you have the patience to deal with someone so complicatedly predictable?" What an oxymoron... or like my friend once said, " or maybe just a moron..." And as I ask Him this question, I hear the Kim Walker song in the back of my mind singing, "He loves us! Oh! How He loves us!" And when I hear the echo of the "Oh!" in my mind, it travels down to my heart. There I ponder on all the oh's in my life. Not just the "Oh, I see"s but the "Oh! How You got me this far!"and the "Oh! How Your plans for me are to prosper me, not destroy me!"and the "Oh! How Your mercy is new each morning!" How can God love a people so complicatedly predictable? Because He is love. What would we know about love if He Himself did not love first? Our breath is a product of His love. Our Earth is another perfect product.
We Love because we were loved first. But is the love we portray worthy of being labeled as "love"?
I have thousands of thoughts buzzing by on the busy streets of my mind..haha.
I want to challenge you, reader.
I know that God is something that most don't like to talk about. But I want you to throw out all of that. I want you to throw out everything you were told about God. Forget what you grew up in.
Give yourself a clean slate and think about this... What stops you from seeking God? Is it really worth it? Does it build you up or break you down? Would you believe it if I said "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
It doesn't hurt to try. And you won't lose anything. In fact, you could gain something big. But that's if you want. No one can decide for you. God won't decide for you. He gave you that choice.

This is all for now.